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1.
Art Is Messy 02:04
Art is messy! And we are not ashamed! Chemistry is messy! Gouache is messy! Gouache is messy! Art is messy! And we are not ashamed! Art is messy! The tango is messy! Making a three-egg omelet is messy! Messy! Art is messy! And we're not ashamed! Art is messy! aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! Art is messy! Gardening is messy! Swimming the backstroke is messy! but not as messy as the crawl! Art is messy! But we are not ashamed! Art is messy! Is messy! Oh ho! messy! Messy! Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! We are not ashamed! Art!
2.
Salty Dame 04:39
She drove up in a Stutz Bearcat Sprayed mud on the doorman's shoes She was a salty dame She asked the bandleader for a waltz And the bartender for a vodka screw She was a salty dame I knew I'd seen her face before It was on another guy's tattoo She was a salty dame She smoked without a holder She hitched without a thumb She was a salty dame She had a drink named after her It was at least half rum She was a salty dame Yes, she was a force of nature (Now let's see how good y'alls dance.) Some people say that she married a baron Some people say she's dead She was a salty dame From time to time I call her But only in my head She was a salty dame Salty dame Yes, she swore like a sailor No, three sailors Salty
3.
I spat in the gravy I spat in the tinsel I spat in the gravy It's a holiday festival of revenge (2x) Oh! I poisoned the egg nog And I poisoned the cookies It's a holiday festival of revenge Yes, I said It's a holiday festival of revenge Revenge I spat in the gravy And I spat on the tinsel Yes, it's a holiday festival of revenge (2x) Revenge
4.
The skywalk kiosk is closed. Unless you happen to be in the private party that has it reserved, which you almost certainly are not. The view is heavenly at this time of year. The dogwoods are in bloom up and down the boulevards. Up and down the boulevards. But much to your misfortune, the skywalk kiosk is closed. The skywalk kiosk is closed. Closed to young families. Closed to elderly Coast Guard veterans. Closed to dirty street children who crave acceptance and wisdom. Closed to lovestruck fools. And closed .... to you. Come back tomorrow.
5.
This is a song about Belgium. Yes, I'm chained to a wall Down in the dungeon Not much to say I'm chained to a wall Well, I laughed at the king When a dog soiled his shoes The guards took me away Now I'm down in the dungeon Chained to a wall (3x) There's not too much happening Chained to a wall (3x) I sure miss clean water Don't know how long They've had me stuck down here It's hard to tell time When you're chained to a wall If there were somebody to scratch ... right ... there between my shoulder blades, that would be so nice. 'Cause I'm chained to a wall (3x) Time sure does pass slowly Chained to a wall (3x) Don't laugh at royalty I'm chained to a wall (3x) I'd kill for a lozenge Chained to a wall (3x) And some clean clothing There's iron round my wrists And there's iron round my ankles I'm not being metaphorical I'm chained to a wall My chances of freedom are represented by the numeral: zero. Now I love the king I'm sorry for laughing Please let me loose 'Cause I'm chained to a wall Yes, I'm chained to a wall (3x) If I were home now Chained to a wall (3x) I'd be pickling the cabbage Down in the dungeon (4x) I'm chained to a wall (4x) I'm chained to an old stone wall with rainwater trickling down it and moss and lichens Chained to a wall Down in the dungeon (2x) Chained to a wall Kept here by iron Laughed at the king Chained to a wall (2x) And the fifteenth century don't seem like it's ever gonna end.
6.
Calling Chris Odle!
7.
Cut off all my sleeves Off every single shirt I own, and my jean jacket also Got my flat cap on So I can look like Brian Johnson - he's my rock n roll hero. And you best believe when Saturday night comes around I'm ready to rock n' roll. I'm about to rock - saluuuuuuuuuute me. (2x) Saluuuuuuuuute me. Fire off the cannons 'cause the rock n roll dealers are rolling through town. And I can feel the heat from the driver's seat of my Firebird It's not for the faint of heart Let me tell you. I'm about to rock -- saluuuuuuuuute me. (2x) By day I work in IT You may know me as Rob from Tech Support But by the time the weekend comes I sure am ready to rock Especially when someone else is on call. I'm about to rock -- saluuuuuuuuute me. (2x) Salute me! Oh! Ooh!
8.
I got methods I teach fifth grade Oh! I got methods. I'm gonna be vice principal someday. Someday. Oh! I got methods. I teach fifth grade. I watch recess. Yes, this is just the beginning of my educational journey. I got methods. I show filmstrips. Oh! I'm so very excited. So very excited! I got methods! Oh! Got all different kinds of methods. All different kinds! Ohhhhhh.
9.
Sauerbraten 03:04
3 pounds of round steak Half teaspoon pepper One carrot, sliced Four cloves Sauerbraten Yes, sauerbraten Sauerbraten Yes, sauerbraten Two cups wine vinegar One tablespoon salt Two sliced onions Onions! Half cup chopped celery Four whole black peppers And two bay leaves Place meat in bowl. Pour the combined salt, pepper, onions, carrot, celery, cloves, black pepper, vinegar and bay leaves over meat. Cover and place in refrigerator four to five days. Turn meat occasionally. Drain meat. When dry, in pressure cooker melt three tablespoons shortening. Sear meat on all sides and heat the marinade to a boiling point. To a boiling point. Strain; pour over meat. Cover tightly, simmer over low heat 55 to 60 minutes - that's an hour. For the gravy, in a pan blend 5 tbsp melted butter, 5 tbsp flour and one tablespoon brown sugar to taste. Stir into simmering meat liquid. Cover and continue cooking until meat is tender. Oh so tender. Remove meat to a hot platter. Stir 8 to 10 gingersnap crumbs into the gravy, then cook until thickened. Pour over meat.
10.
Yes, this is the year! This is absolutely the year I do my first pull-up. You can just tell how much bigger my arms are than they used to be. I'm so excited to take the presidential fitness exams. There's nothing better in gym class. Running a mile just to make the president happy means a lot to me. Even though the president can't do a pull-up And did I mention this is my year to do a pull-up? I can feel it! I'm so excited to take the presidential physical fitness exams. Coming soon to a gym class near you! Yes, I'm gonna make my country proud with a pull-up! With my chin over the bar and everything! Not even cheating! I can feel it! I can feel the glory! I'm so excited to take the presidential physical fitness exams! Ah! Ah!
11.
Electric bossa! It's the way of the future. The future! Uhhhhhhhhhahhhhhh! Bossa. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I'm not wired to handle the electric bossa! Bossaaaaaaaaa! BOSSSSAAAAAAA! Aaaaaaahhhhhh!
12.
Run your hands slowly through your long black hair Look out the window at the darkness there Dark shapes of houses Dark shapes of trees Dark shapes of silence Dark shapes of peace 'Cause there's no shoutin' on the night train (3x) Time pass slow and silky on the night train Somewhere a phone is hot in someone's hand He's shoutin' loud enough to beat the band He's got a curious idea of fun I'd like to tell him That's not how it's done 'Cause there's no shoutin' on the night train (3x) Time pass cool and creamy on the night train I've got a place to go but no one's there I've got a window I don't have to share I got a vinyl seat And that will suffice I got the silence And it sure sounds nice 'Cause there's no shoutin' on the night train (3x) Time pass sweet as gravy on the night train

about

What's this about? The manifesto is here:
neckpickup.wordpress.com/2019/12/06/watts-going-on/

credits

released December 5, 2019

Kurt: bass, guitars, vocals
Mark: drums, percussion, occasional vocals

MIXED N' STUFF BY MARK KNAPP

Recorded in Roxbury and Millis, Massachusetts

All songs written by Kurt Blumenau and Mark Knapp (dude, we totally worked hard), except "Sauerbraten" by Pauline Blumenau [1886-1994], Kurt Blumenau and Mark Knapp.

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